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Write a poem about Dixon trial…win a gift card!

November 16, 2009 at 8:04 pm 18

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     Just in time for the holidays….the Baltimore Brew gift card give-away. Best poem about the prosecution of Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon wins a gift card. We’ve got two to give away this week: a $25 Best Buy card and a $25 Giant card.

     It doesn’t matter if you’re pro-Sheila or anti, if you think the whole thing is a politically-motivated waste of money or a stand we have to make against gift card grafty gravy.

     Read on to learn how to enter (it’s easy!) and check out our starter limerick….Here’s the deal:

* It doesn’t matter whether you’re angry or amused, downcast or disgusted by this whole thing: the boyfriends, the jury consultants, all of it. Channel whatever you’ve got into a haiku, limerick or 14-line sonnet. (We won’t be picky about the rhyme scheme.)

* You know the basic story: our mayor is accused of theft for allegedly stealing $1,500 worth of gift cards given to her by developers who thought they were going to be used by the poor. Prosecutors say she bought video games, clothes and other items for her family’s personal use. She says she thought they were gifts meant only for her, from her developer boyfriend Ronald Lipscomb. (Like the fur coat she received from him.) Hence, it wasn’t theft! 

* Send in your poem in the form of a comment on this post. We’ll publish every one we get (as long as they’re not offensive or otherwise over-the-line) and at the end of this week of testimony (we’re presuming it will go on at least that long) we’ll name two winners. Each winner will get a gift card.

* In the case of a tie, we’ll let readers decide. If this works out, we’ll do it again next week.

* A last thought: winners can, of course, apply the cards toward the purchase of whatever they want (some blackberries. A Blackberry. Jimmy Choos.) But a really classy thing, since we keep talking about “the needy,” would be to give your card to someone who really is. . .

* Here’s our lame attempt at a limerick to start you off. Brew readers we know you can do better.  .  .  .

These cards were just presents for me,
From a businessman friend (well, from three…)
They weren’t meant for the poor,
Just to open the door
To my heart (and my tax breaks) you see!

  • Steve

    In a town that once welcomed Fila,
    We’re now all focused on Sheila;
    While by votes she was elected,
    Now she’s rejected;
    As a monster similar to the Gila.

  • Steve

    Limericks? Can’t resist another:

    We once railed against a Dick Nixon,
    Now we’re just stuck with a Dixon;
    Corruption falls hard.
    Like a stolen gift card;
    But for developers it’s all in the fix’n.

  • DCMerkle

    Twinkle, twinkle Baltimore Mayor!
    How I wondered how you dare,
    Spending gifts cards for the poor,
    Spending them as if they were yours.

    Ronald Lipscomb was you beau!
    Gave you bribes, way to go!
    Wanted tax breaks from the city,
    Gave you a mink coat, what a pity.

    Had the gift cards for the needy.
    Your eyes got big and then you got greedy.
    Bought raspberries and an X-box,
    You thought you were one shifty fox.

    After four years of investigation,
    You’ve become B’more’s big sensation.
    And the defense, you’re too innocent to steal?
    Come on people! Let’s get real!

    D.O.C. is waiting for you.
    You should learn some jailhouse blues.
    Come on Dixon, we’re not stupid.
    It’s really clear, you obviously blew it!

  • scotty

    While Shelia is getting her day
    Poor Lipscomb and Turner both bray,
    “The woman’s a tool.
    Never says ‘Thank you!’
    For cards from Best Buy and Target.”

  • Matt

    how about a haiku?

    Sheila’s boy toys gave
    Some Gift Cards for tiny tim
    BAH HUMBUG! She Roared.

  • Jennifer

    Sonnet (with apologies to Shakespeare):

    Let me not to the court of true minds
    Admit guilt. Money is not much
    When in the form of gifted plastic finds
    Its way to my own pocket as such.
    O no! It is easily mistaken
    That looks on human nature, knowing
    Public servants have often taken
    Another’s worth unknown, thereby showing
    Shattered values and constituents betrayed.
    O! other vices claim us. Like the shame
    Of sex, addiction, or leadership strayed
    For embezzlement of greater gain.
    But petty theft from children is scandal
    That not common sense nor even I can handle.

  • Skeptic

    State prosecutor
    Looked for bribes, found Best Buy cards.
    Epic fail, Rohrbaugh?

  • aaron

    There once was a mayor named Sheila
    Who with gift cards was a pretty big dealer
    She dealt them real well; had some dates with a swell
    Now she’s at the whim of a squealer

  • Aaron

    Haiku
    Low cost crimes alleged
    Millions spent to uncover
    Party politics

  • afh

    Though i hail from the city of sin,
    and don’t know of l’affaire Dixon,
    new yorkers like me
    think the sum was quite wee
    to merit its own poetry.

    we all watched the wire with glee,
    it was worse than our own misery,
    you’ve set a high bar
    sheila’s so under par,
    you need scandal that’s much more bizarre.

  • Usha nellore

    Guys, I disqualify myself from the competition–I did not follow the rules. Usha Nellore

    The tale of one city–November 2009

    She had beaus aplenty.
    When she crooked her finger,
    Men galore came ashore for her-
    Across the seven seas,
    Bearing fur–
    and gift cards for the poor-
    But alas, too soon, the cookie crumbled-
    Where her majesty on stiletto heels,
    reigned supreme–
    in Baltimore–the courts convened and charged her,
    with lowly theft-favors taken-favors given
    to lovers and members of her retinue-and as the world observed with furrowed brows,
    plotting her retribution–she took on the regal aspect of a woman above the picayune preoccupation of her prosecutor–
    (A man insensitive to her mayoral call of duty)
    She asked, “How was she to know that the charade of men-
    who came and went from her life-one of them with a wife-are such low breeds that they would
    give her gifts not meant for her but for others?
    Is that a normal mode of gifting? O please!
    How insulting to make her a conduit for the poor,
    Naturally she concluded, being from a higher pedigree,
    That she could purchase for herself an X box and
    a camcorder-
    (it was a breeze,in and out of Best Buys)
    with the cards left in her custody.
    Now back with his wife he lies, the low life,
    His lips comb the prosecutor’s feet,
    He calls her a freeloader, even worse a thief,
    beyond belief!
    Why is it wrong to give gifts from a lover by one name to a lover by another?
    That is not cheap-that is green-an inconvenient truth-
    Whosoever says she stole from the poor is a brute without a heart for the poor who love her so,
    Are they running away the poor? Where can they go?
    They already have their best and biggest gift– no fuss or fanfare,wrap or bow,
    They have her–Dixon–their mayor,
    Pretty soon she’ll be back at her games and chores,
    The city of Baltimore once more hers-to kiss or cuddle, own or spurn,
    Trusting less and praying more,
    With Anthony her ?loyal? newest beau,
    Romance taking backseat to the lord,
    No one ever whispering gift or card,
    Pretty soon she’ll be back at her games and chores,
    When the curtains fall on this curious show,
    And the acrobats have all gone home,
    It’ll be business as usual in Baltimore!”

    Many thoughts kept whirling in her head,
    As Rohrbaugh the prosecutor roared,
    “To steal from the needy that’s unspeakable!”
    In her notebook she jotted her mode of escape,
    Hoping Superman would brush her face with his cape,
    And Judge Sweeney, he nursed his head in his hand,
    Wishing to be banished from that la la land,
    The show was vintage Baltimore,
    A farce to make the Raven quoth, “Never more!”
    And John Waters weep that his very own Divine,
    Was nearly normal by a mile!
    Usha Nellore

  • Robert L

    To be or not to be
    Innocent or guilty
    The witch hunt has began
    False witnesses and developers
    Ran from the stand,for the lack of a plan
    Giftcards?!,be for real
    Thats hardly a reason for Sheila to steal
    Try politics as usual if you may
    The truth shall stand
    And Sheila will have her day.

    Robert L

  • Aaron

    haiku for jury

    Mayor is on trial
    A jury of peers decides
    Is there justice here?

  • Virginia

    For gifties, our Mayor likes a card -
    A present that’s easy, not hard.
    Whether she got them mixed,
    Or her relationships fixed,
    Now forever her record is scarred.

  • A Baltimoron

    Hey Sheila! You caused quite a row
    as a corrupt and gluttonous sow
    while gifts for the needy
    Were used by the greedy
    Which foot is the shoe on right now?

  • Susan

    It’s not the first time in our state
    the government’s gone astray:
    a bribery here, racketeering there,
    all these and more, you say.

    So what’s the big deal this time ‘round,
    when corrupt officials reign?
    There really is no difference, hon,
    just another Maryland stain.

    Remember Marvin’s mail fraud scheme
    and Agnew’s unpaid tax?
    Those guys were caught and paid the price.
    The law can’t be relaxed.

    I know Ms. Dixon loves her town.
    You can see it in her face.
    But once again, this place we live
    is injured by disgrace.

  • Aaron

    haiku
    jury wrangles long
    mayor’s peers sit in judgement
    trial by the press

  • Jesse

    Our fair Sheila D
    Trial is up in the air
    An embarrassment

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